Irish Diet Declines

As the current spell of good weather continues, the majority of Irish adults are now surviving on a diet consisting only of Bulmers cider and 99’s. A child in West Cork was estimated to be 98% choc ice. We asked scientists for their opinion on the nutritional value of this diet, but they were too hot to be arsed looking into it.

 

Men To Protest

A rally is to be held this coming weekend in Virginia, Co Cavan, as a group of middle-aged, married, well-paid, straight men with no political allegiances are to gather and walk through the town’s main street. Organiser Peter Keogh explained that they don’t really have any gripes about anything, but felt left out of all the recent protests and campaigns, and so just wanted a bit of attention. The march is in Cavan as they didn’t want to cause any fuss or disruption to anything important.

 

Summer Camps

This week saw the fourth wave of summer camp starts around Ireland – a chance for kids of all ages to learn just how shit they really are at a whole variety of sports and activities. Still though, it gives frazzled Mammy a couple of hours freedom while thinking the camp is building character. It’s not Nora. It’s destroying their little souls, bit by bit. Enjoy.