Ticketmaster Ireland has confirmed that tickets for the most highly anticipated event of the year sold out within a matter of minutes this morning.

Donald Trump v Pope Francis got the green light from Croke Park residents last week after they had had their usual week-long bitching session about too many events in the venue.

Having successfully combined both upcoming visits into one, the event’s promoter Louis Walsh has described the match up as “The ultimate battle between good and evil”, while wildly waving his hands around and clapping like a sea lion.

It is unclear as yet what the exact rules of the bout will be, but it is widely believed that it will be some form of UFC/lip sync battle mash up. Bookies cannot separate the pair, with the POTUS vs the Pontiff set to break all betting records.

Simon Cowell is backing the Commander in Chief, based on his unpredictable fighting style and his refusal to believe he is beaten (calling it “fake news”). While Ireland’s favourite/most hated son Conor McGregor has his support behind the Holy Father, stating that he has the moves like Jagger and “Besides, he’s bleedin’ rapid an’ could have anythin’ hidden under dem robes!” Yes, we were confused and frightened too.

The undercard pits Teresa May against Vladimir Putin, in which most people hope they both obliterate each other.