Recording a voice over for an action movie in our politically-correct-and-overly-sensitive times…

Movie Voice Over Guy: In a world gone mad…

Politically Correct Director: You can’t say “mad”, it’s offensive to those with mental illness.

MVOG: OK. In a world where some people have some issues…

PCD: You can’t say “world” – that’s generalising people.

MVOG: OK. In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one man….

PCD: Why does it have to be a man? A woman could do the same job just as well.

MVOG: Yes, I’m sure she could, but this movie happens to star Dwayne “the Rock”  Johnson. So…

MVOG: In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one man….

PCD: But how do we know he’s a man?

MVOG: Because he’s Dwayne Johnson! Look at him for f*@ks sake!

PCD: Yes, he looks like a man, but we can’t assume his gender identity.

MVOG: I’m pretty sure he identifies as a man. A male man. His nickname is “The Rock”, but OK…

MVOG: In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one person, who was born male and currently identifies as male, but is free to change his gender identity without judgement…

PCD: That’s better.

MVOG: …fights for his life…

PCD: Can’t say “fights” – it promotes violence and may incite hate crimes in impressionable young boys. Or girls. Equally.

MVOG: *sighs* OK. In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one person, who was born male and currently identifies as male, but is free to change his gender identity without judgement, argues vehemently…

PCD: While respecting the other person’s entitlement to an alternative point of view.

MVOG: *groans* In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one person, who was born male and currently identifies as male, but is free to change his gender identity without judgement, argues vehemently for his life, while respecting the other person’s entitlement to an alternative point of view. His last hope is….

PCD: “Last hope” is very defeatist and I’d like to send a more optimistic message to people.

MVOG: *growls* OK, I’m just going to keep reading til the end here.

MVOG: In some specified areas, where some people have some issues, one person, who was born male and currently identifies as male, but is free to change his gender identity without judgement, argues vehemently for his life, while respecting the other person’s entitlement to an alternative point of view. One of his many options…

PCD: Good.

MVOG: …is to trust…

PCD: Yes, trust is good.

MVOG: …in the man…

PCD: Or woman.

MVOG: …who killed his father.

PCD: *faints*

MVOG: I’m out of here.